Off leash dog ticketed, off leash child continues rampage

Nags Head – A German Shepherd named Atlas was issued a citation today for playing frisbee off leash. Before the officer showed up, Atlas was entertaining the other beach goers with his high flying, frisbee catching antics.

“His best move is where he jumps over a wave and catches the disc at the same time!” said excited teenager Wanda Dohnegy. “I got like fifty likes on my Insta video of him doing it, fifteen retweets on Twitter, and two of my friends replayed my snaps of it. The numbers are still going up, but I can’t check because some little kid took my phone and threw it in the ocean.

“The law says dogs must be on leash at all times, and I don’t mean just a leash attached to him as he runs around. Someone has to be holding it,” said KDH Officer Killbhuz as nearby an unruly five year old dumped his plastic bucket filled with sand in the neighboring families beach bag.

“I knew the rule, but I thought it wasn’t a big deal,” says Atlas’s owner Stephanie Holderson, “He just loves playing disc so much, and he never bothers anyone. He runs to get it, then brings it straight back. Two hundred and fifty bucks is a lot of cash for a dog ticket. I see people down here with their dogs off leash at all times.”

“We have laws for a reason,” the officer started then paused to wait for the child to stop spraying him in the crotch with a squirt gun, “there are people down here trying to have a nice day at the beach, and we can’t have your mutt running around messing that up.”

“I didn’t want to call the cops,” said lifeguard Tammy Whitaker, “but we have to if someone complains. I’m not supposed to tell who complained, but in this case I will make an exception.” She pointed to a sunburned, sleeping lady who was surrounded by Bud Light Lime cans. At that moment the rowdy child ran over to her, opened her cooler, and proceeded to drink half of a 2-liter of Mountain Dew before defecating on beach towel of the family who had just gone for a swim.

There has been some confusion about the beach dog laws, so here is the rule. In Kill Devil Hills it is prohibited to take your dog to the beach between the days of the year where you want to stay on the beach for a while, during the hours where you want to go to the beach.  At this time there are no leash laws or time restrictions on children on the beach, though it asked, but not illegal if you don’t, to clean up after your child pulls down their swim diaper and dookies all over the boardwalk.

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