The internet/phone/cable service giant Charter/Spectrum has announced plans to schedule service outages at more convenient times for their customers. The move was primarily driven by Charter’s CEO Thomas Rutledge’s being “over” the whining from Charter customers.
“Somehow, our customers have gotten the company’s email, phone number and corporate headquarters address,” said Rutledge in a press conference held earlier this morning. “And there was frankly a lot of pointless griping. They don’t seem to understand we’ve got a company to run and most importantly profits to make.”
A review by the OBX Report of outages affecting the Outer Banks over the past five years showed 6% caused by solar flares, 14% related to severe weather, 19% due to panda-related activities such as nesting and foraging and a whopping 51% of the outages due to no reason whatsoever. It’s that last percentage that has locals incensed and demanding change.
“Reliable internet service is crucial to our business,” said Kitty Meyow of the First Sperm Bank of Manteo. “As you might imagine, production tends to fall off when we lose connectivity.”
Beginning in 2017 Charter/Spectrum will allow customers to choose times when it will be more convenient for them to lose service. Customers will still have to lose a minimum of 39 hours of service a month but the ability to pick and choose when they will not have service should mitigate some of the impact.