Compromise Proposal Upsets Local Shrimpers

The NC Fisheries Commission says it has heard the concerns of local shrimp fishermen affected by the recent decision by the Commission to put greater limits on shrimp trawling and that they are working with N.C. GOP Chairman Robin Hayes to draft rules that will mitigate the impact on the shrimping industry.

Specifically, the rule change will allow shrimp boat captains to battle to the death on the open sea using traditional weapons such as gaffs, spearguns, pitchforks, blowtorches and pliers. The winning captain will be able to claim possession of the losing captain’s boat and gear. Combat will be filmed by the National Geographic Channel for their Wicked Tuna companion show, Deadly Shrimp.

Hayes stated that the rules create a “win-win” situation for everyone. “First, it will reduce the total number of shrimp operators, meaning there will be more shrimp to go around for everyone who survives. Second, the state will receive incredible revenues from Nat Geo for filming rights. And, most importantly, with fewer shrimp fishermen I will not have to listen to as much bitching.”

Local reaction has not been mixed: there has been universal condemnation from every corner of the fishing industry concerning the proposed rule change. Lew and Al Cinder, owners of the shrimp boat “Hook Shot,” reacted with dismay to the news.

“I mean, I know they’ve been figuratively trying to kill the commercial fisherman for the last twenty years,” said Lew Cinder. “But this is insane.”
In keeping with supporting all things Dare County opposes Representative Beverly “the Bos” Boswell has signed on to the rule change, though technically speaking it is not a piece of legislation that she is allowed to co-sponsor nor is she a member of the NC Fisheries Commission.

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