Feds Apologize for Increased Waterspout Activity

In a rare moment of candor, the Internal Revenue Service, Trilateral Commission, NASA and CIA have issued a joint apology to the citizens of Dare County for the recent unusual weather activity in the area.

On July 10th, a potent thunderstorm rolling across Dare County spawned over a dozen waterspouts and half as many tornados. Long-time resident and chronic Weather Channel viewer Noah Barque told the OBX Report he’d seen bad weather before “but nothin’ ever like this bad.”

Local meteorologist John Bernier said he reached out to the National Weather Service for comment and was accidentally transferred to the IRS’s Division of Clandestine Activity. An unidentified employee, apparently not realizing who they were speaking to, apologized. The employee stated that there were supposed to be twice the number of water spouts and that they were meant to inflict considerably more damage in the Colington area in order to clear land for a secret NASA launch site. Upon realizing they were talking with a member of the media, the person hung up.

Later in the day a spokesperson for the Trilateral Commission, speaking on behalf of the other agencies, issued a public apology for the storm activity. The spokesperson stated that the attempt to destroy Colington was the ill-conceived plot of a CIA agent named “Ray” and that “Ray” had been subsequently terminated. He said going forward NASA would only use conventional means to acquire property in Colington and that SAGA would be contracted to build their launch site rather than Blackwater.

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One Reply to “Feds Apologize for Increased Waterspout Activity”

  1. I wonder if it’s really the IRS’s DCA that’s against the wind turbines or are the state Republicans a subgroup of that same division?

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